``I must give him his due. He has considerably cretinized me.'' Lautréamont

Pics click to enlarge.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Iran Rejects Derision of Leader's Remarks

THAT'S NOT FUNNY! as the feminist joke goes

TEHRAN, Iran -- Iran hit back at the U.N. Security Council on Saturday after the world body condemned President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's call for Israel to be destroyed.

Friday, October 28, 2005

La. Gov. Blamed for Slow Removal of Bodies

city body collection is tuesdays and fridays

WASHINGTON -- Bodies of people killed by Hurricane Katrina went uncollected for more than a week in the New Orleans area as the federal government waited for Louisiana's governor to decide what to do with them, according to memos released Thursday by a Republican-led House committee.

NJ Governor Hopeful Forrester Cleared

corrupt favoring of his own candidacy

The state law bars people with a majority interest in insurance or banking firms from contributing to political campaigns. Forrester, a multimillionaire majority owner in an insurance brokerage, has donated millions of dollars to his own campaign and hundreds of thousands to other GOP candidates.

Court OKs Food Stamp Ban in Cigarette Sale

stupid because cigarettes are all tax. the welfare program then pays for itself.

like making purchase of lottery tickets legal with food stamps would.

ST. PAUL, Minn. -- The sale of a single pack of cigarettes paid for with food stamps was grounds enough for state officials to ban a grocery store from being part of a subsidy program for the poor, the Minnesota Supreme Court ruled Thursday.

Robber Blames Crime on Missing His Mother

father not missed

EVANSVILLE, Ind. -- A man who led police on a high-speed chase after a bank robbery in May says he was driven to commit the robbery because he missed his mother.

Suspect's Mother Arrested in Calif. Slay

family values attacked

MARTINEZ, Calif. -- The mother of a teenager accused of killing a prominent attorney's wife was arrested Thursday and held on suspicion of being an accessory to murder.

Ex-Engineer Charged With Selling Secrets

name spelled backwards to protect anonymity

Noshir S. Gowadia, 61, of Haiku, was arrested Wednesday in Honolulu.

Japan to Harbor Nuclear-Powered Carrier

another american technology day after a gap of 60 years.

Though American troops have been based in Japan since the end of World War II, the Japanese public has long been wary of a U.S. nuclear presence because of concerns about possible radiation leaks. The decision comes 60 years after the United States brought the war to an end by dropping atomic bombs on a pair of Japanese cities, Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Floridians Again Find Gas in Short Supply

in a remarkable coincidence, florida has anti-price-gouging laws.

MIAMI -- Many Floridians struggled another day to find food, water and fuel after Hurricane Wilma on Thursday, with lines of people and cars forming around home improvement stores and gas stations.

Shriver Stays Mum on Husband's Agenda

the soap scene

LONG BEACH, Calif. -- Maria Shriver refused to take a stand Thursday on the political agenda of her husband, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, saying, "We all know what happens to first ladies who shoot their mouths off."

Bush Stung As Miers Withdraws Nomination

not very stung or defeated, apparently

WASHINGTON -- In a striking defeat for President Bush, White House counsel Harriet Miers on Thursday abandoned her bid to become a Supreme Court justice after three weeks of brutal criticism from fellow conservatives. The Senate's top Republican predicted a replacement candidate within days.

Texas Co. Hired Illegals to Make MREs

trading labor somebody wants for money they want, a Mexican tradition

McALLEN, Texas -- A Texas employment agency was sentenced to five years of probation for hiring illegal immigrants to work at the nation's top producer of military battlefield rations, federal prosecutors said Thursday.

White House braces for likely charges over CIA leak

bracing claimed

tomorrow's news or lack of news today because today's news didn't work out to attract soap fans

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff and other top White House officials braced for criminal charges on Friday from the federal grand jury investigating the leak of a covert CIA operative's identity.

White House Fears Indictment for Libby

antecedent suspense (``that put ...'') matches the lack of actual news

WASHINGTON -- Working against the clock, Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald weighed criminal charges against top presidential aides at the end of a two-year investigation that put the White House in a state of high suspense Thursday night.

Dark Days at the Bush White House

how will soap opera show up in history?

WASHINGTON -- These are dark days for the White House.

And they could get darker.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Canoe Expedition Cleans Up La. Bayou

self-promoting press release genre

disease-producing blackbirds and dragonflies vs harmless wine bottles and truck tires at home in the swamp

MANDEVILLE, La. -- The dragonflies skimming the tea-colored water and the blackbirds in the marsh grasses looked at home along Cane Bayou and the Lake Pontchartrain shore. But canoeing through the waterways Sunday, it was hard not to notice the truck tires, wine bottles and other urban debris left scattered in the shallow water and along the shoreline by Hurricane Katrina.

"There's so much stuff out there that if people like us don't come out and pick it out, it'll be here for a long, long time," said outfitter Byron Almquist.

Man Warned Officials About Caged Children

should be done by airlines too. children travel in baggage.

CLEVELAND -- An insurance agent said he warned child welfare officials that he saw cage-like beds in the home of 11 adopted special-needs children more than a year before authorities intervened.

United Pilot Suspended Over Alcohol Smell

flying is hours of boredom punctuated by short periods of being questioned by the police

MIAMI -- A United Airlines pilot was removed from the cockpit and questioned by police after security screeners at Miami International Airport reported smelling alcohol, police said.

Sarasota Dreads Trial Over Child's Slaying

wall to wall coverage!

women demand it.

unless a prettier girl somewhere comes up first.

SARASOTA, Fla. -- Like others around the world who saw the televised videotape, residents of this city shuddered when they saw the images of a man taking 11-year-old Carlie Brucia by the arm at the back of a car wash.

NYC Mayor Criticizes WTC Developer

or a rock dove wildlife preserve

NEW YORK -- Mayor Michael Bloomberg blasted the developer of the World Trade Center site in comments to a newspaper editorial board, saying space at ground zero might be better used for schools and residential buildings than office towers.

Ariz. Farmers Fear Worker Shortage

reporter rises early or perhaps is making it up later

how many workers you get depends on pay not border crossings

they don't rise early for econ 101 :

the halls are already jammed with people waiting for economics class to open

it sounds like a press release from the vegetable growers

SAN LUIS, Ariz. -- It's only 4 a.m. but the border crossing in this southwest Arizona town is already jammed with cars and people inching northward to enter the United States.

Schumer: Miers Lacks Confirmation Votes

and the eyeshadow industry

another penumbra

The choice has troubled some conservatives who say it was risky because Miers was a blank slate on issues such as abortion and gay rights.

Strengthening Wilma Bears Down on Florida

usually hurricanes ``churn'' when at sea, meaning that there's no news yet so you relate news that hasn't happened yet.

spots on lampposts are all taken.

hit the ``hurricane'' macro at AP.

KEY WEST, Fla. -- Rain pounded Key West early Monday as Hurricane Wilma accelerated toward storm-weary Florida, threatening residents with 120-mph winds, tornadoes and a surge of seawater that could flood the Keys and the state's southwest coast.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Tropical Storm Alpha Forms in Caribbean

in what order? alpha beta gamma delta, or alpha beta chi delta

gods would be better. tropical storm allah.

MIAMI -- Tropical Storm Alpha formed Saturday in the Caribbean, setting the record for the most named storms in an Atlantic hurricane season and marking the first time forecasters had to turn to the Greek alphabet for names.

In Key West, It's a Party Before the Storm

reporter sent to hang on lamppost whiles away the hours with an anti-media audience.

KEY WEST, Fla. -- In other, more conventional places, a frustrated, anxious populace might react differently to tension. But in the face of Hurricane Wilma, many of the people who chose to remain in Key West did what they know best Saturday: They threw a party.

Wilma Picks Up Speed, Heads for Florida

the template grinds on once again.

leave for a week and it's the same when you come back.

no actual news involved.

they could run random bits in and the template would produce the same output.

KEY WEST, Fla. -- Thousands of residents had been ordered to evacuate Sunday and businesses and emergency officials prepared rescue and relief plans as forecasters predicted Hurricane Wilma would pick up speed "like a rocket" on a course toward Florida.

Student Dies in Goal-Post Celebration

it's fun until somebody loses an eye.

then it's still fun, just not around that person.

MORRIS, Minn. -- A 20-year-old University of Minnesota-Morris student was killed Saturday when football fans rushed onto the field and pulled down a goal post at the end of the school's homecoming game.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Emergency Declared After Anti-Nazi Riots

street-talk express

"I was chagrined that there were obvious mothers and children in the crowd with them," he said.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Millions to Receive Social Security Boost

it's _supposed_ to leave you where you started. it's a cost of living increase.

actually it overstates inflation because it ignores substitution of other items for ones that have gone up most.

"Everything that we buy has gone up so fast," he said. "The extra money will be spent, that's for sure."

DOT Investigates Fatal Bus Fire After Rita

the point of written regulations is making it possible to always find one you've violated, after some accident.

this proves it's not the agency's fault, which is what is needed under such circumstances.

DALLAS -- The U.S. Department of Transportation is investigating why its regulators gave a satisfactory rating to the company involved in last month's fatal bus fire for almost two years before deciding it was hazardous to the public.

Pregnant Woman IDs Pa. Neighbor in Attack

maternal instinct plays the same role in elections

FORD CITY, Pa. -- A head injury clouds her memory, but the woman who nearly had her unborn son sliced from her belly has identified her next-door neighbor as her attacker, authorities say.

Valerie Lynn Oskin, 30, "definitely" remembers being clubbed with a baseball bat by Peggy Jo Conner and then being driven around by her, Armstrong County District Attorney Scott Andreassi said Friday.

Polygamist Couple Give Up Parental Rights

the terrible teens

The girls, ages 17 and 14, are currently in foster care and have expressed a desire to be adopted.

Their parents, John Daniel Kingston and Heidi Mattingly, signed orders relinquishing their rights to the teens Friday. The couple has nine other children, all of whom are in Mattingly's custody.

"There has been a significant deterioration of the parent-child relationship with these girls," Kristin Brewer, a court-appointed advocate for the teens, told the 3rd District juvenile court. "This enables everyone to move on and not go through another trial."

DeLay Uses Website to Attack Prosecutor

it's unethical to mock the media, too, in case he tries that.

WASHINGTON -- Stung by his recent indictment in Texas, Tom Delay is trying to turn his legal woes into a financial boon for his re-election. The former House majority leader is using his congressional campaign to distribute to voters derogatory information about the prosecutor who brought the charges against him and to solicit donations for his re-election.

Poll: Domestic Issues Troubling Americans

advice : turn off the TV

"Things at home are in peril, and we're spread thin throughout the world," said Nick Tepsic, a surgical technician in Boynton Beach, Fla., who is a political independent. "We need to be worrying about things at home. We have a terrible debt going on; we need to improve education; we had two terrible natural disasters here. Our money could best be spent in other ways."

Monday, October 10, 2005

Fraternity Suspends Boulder Chapter

party training

Hartman said the Boulder chapter violated various policies and failed to meet expectations that were established a year ago when the fraternity was placed on probation for breaking party rules.

One Dead When Train Rams Truck in Texas

trucks are legally people in Texas

i propose 4-way stops at rail crossings

GRAND PRAIRIE, Texas -- An Amtrak passenger train rammed a pickup truck that had ignored warnings at a railroad crossing Monday, killing a woman and injuring two others, officials said.

Man Charged in Deaths of Three

he probably snapped

SAN JOSE, Calif. -- A man was charged with homicide Monday for allegedly stabbing his two daughters and his pregnant girlfriend, then setting their house on fire, authorities said.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Gay Leaders Seek to Bridge Racial Divide

gay leaders are like black leaders only smarter

National gay and lesbian groups are responding with marketing campaigns and old-fashioned schmoozing to win over minority gays, many of whom argue white activists want their votes on gay marriage and other national issues, but rarely include poverty, racism and other minority concerns on their agendas.

Subtropical Depression Dissipating

sad news

The system was no longer a subtropical depression and had lost all of its convection, according to the National Hurricane Center in Miami.

Rice Offers U.S. Aid to Pakistan, India

patronize a convenience store today

WASHINGTON -- President Bush offered condolences and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said the U.S. was ready to help Pakistan and India after an earthquake Saturday killed thousands near their northern border.

How Different Groups Feel About Bush

feeling news, a new angle for our woman audience

Bush Says Miers Has Experience, Leadership

required thuggishness missing

the reason people support bush on the war on terror is that he's enough of a prick to pull the trigger

"No Supreme Court nominee in the last 35 years has exceeded Harriet Miers' overall range of experience in courtroom litigation; service in federal, state and local government; leadership in local, state and national bar associations and pro bono and charitable activities," Bush said in his weekly radio address.

Dem Seeks Penalties for Gas Price-Gougers

the party of know-nothings

WASHINGTON -- Oil executives who engage in price-gouging should face tough criminal penalties, Rep. Rosa DeLauro of Connecticut said Saturday in the Democrats' weekly radio address.

Clinton Inducted Into Women's Hall of Fame

it's the other clinton

"It had never crossed my mind up until that point that there might be doors closed to me simply because I was a girl," recalled the letter writer, better known today as Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, as she was enshrined Saturday in the National Women's Hall of Fame, along with nine other inductees.

Amtrak Returns to Big Easy After Katrina

human interest angle for women

As he stepped off the train, Marty Robinson, of Paducah, Ky., sank to his knees, sang a song and proposed to his girlfriend as she greeted him. She accepted.

Four Robotic Vehicles Finish Desert Race

academic standards

"The impossible has been achieved," cried Stanford University's Sebastian Thrun, after the university's customized Volkswagen crossed first. Students cheered, hoisting Thrun atop their shoulders.

Bennett Defends Remarks on Black Abortions

the i'm-stupid position taken

and dare you to say anything about it 'cause i'm black

"He heard our outrage and our hurt, but he didn't say he was sorry," said Irma Carson, a Bakersfield councilwoman. "We didn't take (his comment) out of context, because there's no context in which those comments would fit."

Thursday, October 06, 2005

TV Tower Wires Kill 400 Birds in One Night

same as 400 cats get in one night on the average

significance : there are a _lot_ of birds

MADISON, Wis. -- As many as 400 songbirds were killed in one night after they flew into wires holding up a television tower.

Winter Storm Knocks Out Power in West

global warming in the news

BISMARCK, N.D. -- An early winter storm that blasted in from the Rockies dumped heavy snow across the region, knocking out power to thousands and forcing National Guard soldiers to rescue stranded motorists.

Miers Unfazed by Criticism, Friend Says

does not take press seriously, a bad sign

WASHINGTON -- Harriet Miers is unfazed by the criticism and questioning of her qualifications as she seeks to become the next Supreme Court justice, a longtime friend said Thursday.

Lightning Kills High School Football Player

good day to play the lottery

COCONUT CREEK, Fla. -- A high school football player was killed and several people were injured by lightning after a game was stopped because of a thunderstorm.

Tropical Storm Tammy Center Comes Ashore

meanwhile in rain news

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- The center of Tropical Storm Tammy came ashore in north Florida on Wednesday after skirting the coast and sending heavy rain and gusty winds toward Georgia and the Carolinas.

Sea Otters Could Return to Southern Calif.

sea urchin food pyramid

The Sea Urchin Harvesters Association, an industry group that wants to limit the number of sea otters in Southern California waters, did not return a call seeking comment. Sea urchins are a favorite food of otters.

Next Big Thing: Satellite TV in Cars

the platitude channel

"Drivers need to be reminded that driving is a very complex task requiring full attention," said Col. Jim Champagne of the Governors Highway Safety Association, which has said it's not encouraging use of the technology.

3 Adults, Baby Found Dead in Ill. Home

the infant was not talking

BELLEVILLE, Ill. -- Three adults and an infant were found shot to death Wednesday night in an apartment, police said.

Calif. Wildfire Closes Freeway Near L.A.

how long until avalanche stories start?

sometime in the fall the template changes colors

CALIMESA, Calif. -- A wildfire erupted Wednesday in an area east of Los Angeles, quickly consuming at least 2,000 acres of brush, threatening about 100 homes and burning to the edge of a freeway.

Companies Investing in Teaching English

also "block" "pillar" "slab" and "beam" completing Wittgenstein's primitive language

DALLAS -- Francisco Casas knew enough English to get by in his job preparing rooms for meetings at a luxury hotel, using a few key words such as "table" and "chair" along with hand gestures.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Study: Most Will Be Fat Over the Long Haul

weight anxiety cultivated among the underweight

"You cannot become complacent, because you are at risk of becoming overweight," said Ramachandran Vasan, an associate professor of medicine at Boston University and the study's lead author.

Firefighters Race Forecast in Calif. Fires

various versions of an interlude in the exciting fire news season

"You have to have a watchful eye over the whole area right now," he said.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Ousted Ala. Justice to Run for Governor

the commandment on showdowns

Moore's candidacy could set up a showdown with Gov. Bob Riley, a fellow Republican, and turn the Ten Commandments dispute into a central campaign issue in this Bible Belt state.

Search Ends With 964 Katrina Dead in La.

halloween will be big this year

NEW ORLEANS -- The search for Hurricane Katrina victims has ended in Louisiana with a death toll at 964, but more searches will be conducted if someone reports seeing a body, a state official said Monday.

Bush Prepared to Tap Heating Oil Reserve

the way you save energy is you _don't_ increase the supply.

everything that's released gets used.

everything that's not, doesn't.

price just decides what gets cut back to meet supply.

"We've had a very severe pair of episodes, they have damaged the (energy) infrastructure," Bodman said at a news conference held with the Alliance to Save Energy, a private energy conservation group. Bodman said the country can be expected to face high heating oil and natural gas prices this winter.

But he added, with conservation "we can be successful in minimizing the pain caused by high energy prices this winter."

Court Nominee Has No Judicial Experience

manages subject/verb agreement

"The wisdom of those who drafted our Constitution and conceived our nation as functioning with three strong and independent branches has proven truly remarkable," Miers said at the White House before departing for the Capitol and a Senate confirmation campaign already taking shape.

DeLay Is Indicted on Two New Charges

prosecutor doubles bet against risibility effect

A Texas grand jury indicted Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) yesterday for alleged involvement in money laundering related to the 2002 Texas election, raising new and more serious allegations than the conspiracy charge lodged against the former House majority leader last week.

WWII Troop Ship Arrives in Indiana

another lake george tour boat tragedy waiting to happen

EVANSVILLE, Ind. -- With aging veterans lining the deck, a World War II troop landing ship chugged up the Ohio River on Monday, heading to a new assignment as part of a war history museum.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Poll: Ohio Governor's Approval Rate Sinks

highest tax rate in the nation

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- In the wake of convictions for ethics violations, Ohio Gov. Bob Taft's approval rating has dipped to a dismal 15 percent, making him one of the most unpopular politicians in the history of political polls.

Seattle Considers Banning Lap Dance

traditional witches and elves under the aurora

SEATTLE -- Strippers who venture too near the laps of their dollar-bill-waving patrons have exposed an unexpected prudish streak in this West Coast bastion of tolerance and liberalism.

Google Bids to Offer WiFi in San Francisco

power lines get an added competitive edge by wiping out radio reception

Google has been quietly experimenting with WiFi service in a few connection spots around the Bay Area and New York during the past few months. In another sign of its interest in Internet access, Google recently bought an undisclosed stake in a Maryland startup, the Current Communications Group, which is trying to provide high-speed connections through power lines.

Border activist a wild card in Calif. election


While Jim Gilchrist -- leader of a volunteer border patrol group once slammed as "vigilantes" by President George W. Bush -- is considered a long shot to win the special election to fill a seat vacated by Republican Christopher Cox, he has mined a deep vein of voter anger over illegal immigration.

Scientists Send Submersibles to Lost City

they are not bathed by the mist thousands of miles away, that's why.

headline by Coleridge.

PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- The ship with all the gadgets and underwater rovers was stationed in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, but for the first time, the scientists directing the expedition were not on board. They sat in rooms thousands of miles away.

Police: Lost Girl Asking for Slain Mother

attention soap opera women !!

NEW YORK -- A 4-year-old girl abandoned on a city street has been asking for the mother she says looks "like a princess" as authorities consider how best to break the news the woman is dead, allegedly slain by a man the girl called her father, police said.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

NOAA Finds No Oil Yet in Gulf Fish Samples

bad news for biodiesel

MOBILE, Ala. -- The first samples of fish taken from the Gulf of Mexico since Hurricane Katrina showed no exposure to spilled oil, government scientists said Friday.

Kan. Mayor Calls Birthday Card 'Offensive'

no birthdays in kansas

The birthday card produced by Hallmark bears the title "CSI: Topeka" and features a cartoon of two people standing over a corpse, with one saying, "Looks like he was bored to death."

Judge Rules on Racial Makeup of Juries

choose juries from baseball team rosters, is my advice.

"But it's going to be a step in the right direction," Garin said. "It's going to make it somewhat more likely that we might see in our case _ and defendants in other cases _ may see people of color on their juries."

Dems Decry U.S. Dependence on Fossil Fuels

what happens when you elect women

WASHINGTON -- The Bush administration is not doing enough to push for energy conservation as fuel costs skyrocket since Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, Sen. Maria Cantwell of Washington state said Saturday in the Democrats' weekly radio address.

Experts: Future of Big Hurricanes Looms

don't forget newspapers going broke as readers abandon soap opera and hype.

-- Have we seen America's future through the eyes of hurricanes Katrina and Rita? Monster storms drowning cities and obliterating coastlines. Jobs vanishing and prices rising as ports and pipelines close. Millions fleeing, but many are trapped and die. Chaos reigns, paralyzing government and leaving the world's wealthiest society humbled and frightened.

Miller Testimony Worries Journalism Groups

why _anybody_ should be forced to testify not considered. yet it's the way out of the fly bottle.

NEW YORK -- New York Times reporter Judith Miller's decision to escape jail by testifying about her conversations with a confidential source surprised some ofher supporters and left journalists wondering what her choice will mean for press freedoms.

Dems Agree to Recommend Early Primaries

plan : more of the same, only sooner

same as the platform

However, Democratic consultant Steve Murphy warned that it is critical they make no changes that help Republicans. Murphy and Iowa Democratic activist Jerry Crawford said Democrats should avoid changing the leadoff roles of Iowa and New Hampshire, which could anger voters in those states and make GOP victories there very likely in the general election.

Ga. Slayings Terrify Mexican Immigrants

no chimney for santa, either

TIFTON, Ga. -- Pedro Bemol stayed awake most of the night, swapping lookout shifts in the dark with the five other Mexican immigrants who share a ragged mobile home with no electricity and a front door that won't close because of a broken latch.

Calif. Law Aims to Discourage Paparazzi

castration rejected

"This bill hits the paparazzi where it hurts _ the wallet," said Assemblywoman Cindy Montanez who proposed the measure.

Counties Switch to Biodiesel School Buses

how about making kids walk to school

wv is the nation's leader in fat kids

not likely to occur to a transportation director.

everybody favors the source of their income.

Dean is among a slowly growing number of county transportation directors in West Virginia and across the nation who are switching from straight diesel to a mixture of diesel and biodiesel, a fuel based primarily on vegetable oils.

Biodiesel use has been growing since 1992 when Congress passed the Energy Policy Act in a move to reduce the nation's dependency on foreign oil. It has since been approved by the federal Environmental Protection Agency as an alternative fuel.


Blog Archive