``I must give him his due. He has considerably cretinized me.'' Lautréamont

Pics click to enlarge.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Encoignure Loaf


1 1/2 pounds encoignure, ground
1/2 cup medium cracker crumbs
2 beaten eggs
1 8-ounce can tomato sauce
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
2 tablespoons chopped green pepper
dash dried thyme, crushed
dash dried marjoram, crushed

Combine all ingredients and 1 teaspoon salt; mix well.
Shape mixture into a loaf in a baking dish. Bake at 350
degrees about 1 1/4 hours. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

New York Transit Union OKs Tentative Deal

it's always sad when a transit strike ends without the destruction of the union, the jailing of all its officials and the firing of every single worker who struck

NEW YORK -- The executive board for the city's transit workers union approved a tentative new contract late Tuesday, five days after it ended a paralyzing bus and subway strike that stranded millions of commuters.

Many Meth Users Turn to Identity Theft

duh news

wm f. buckley, milton friedman, said it would happen, but no, we have to have a war on drugs, the chief effect of which is to make it really profitable to engage in.

Authorities are discovering that more and more desperate users of the drug are turning to identity theft to pay for their habit, creating a criminal nexus costing Americans millions of dollars.

New Orleans Top Cop Supportive of Shooting

has to be shooting by police

can't have ordinary people doing it, with more effectiveness

the media are against shooting except by criminals, the liberal 3rd position.

NEW ORLEANS -- The officers who gunned down a knife-wielding man appeared to be justified, and would have betrayed their police training if they had aimed to fire a non-lethal shot, said Police Superintendent Warren Riley.

Student Who Died in Tsunami Remembered

steaming pile of women's stories

DENVER -- Robert Weissberg remembers when his daughter Nicole was a child roaming the Gramercy Park Hotel in New York, ordering peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the dining room or playing on luggage carts in the halls with her younger brother.

Appalachian Town Looks to Flatten Mountain

negative thinking

Environmentalists say the process destroys wildlife habitat and contaminates water.

Wind-Driven Grass Fires Kill One in Texas

sounds like it was set by officials

Drought and windy conditions help set the stage for the wildfires, which authorities believe were mainly set by people ignoring fire bans and burning trash, shooting fireworks or tossing cigarettes on the crunchy, brown grass.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Fake but Accurate

``a model fact''

``tautness of truth''

``formally true''

Free Spam Email Subject Line Suggestion

``Contact Your Probation Officer''

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Official: Drug Cos. Lack Vaccine Incentive

in other amazing news, there is no private aircraft industry in the US since liability lawsuits bankrupted them

WASHINGTON -- In an unusually candid admission, the federal chief of AIDS research says he believes drug companies don't have an incentive to create a vaccine for the HIV and are likely to wait to profit from it after the government develops one.

Analysis: Rice Sees Political Star on Rise

analysis : there is no star so there is no story

WASHINGTON -- Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has become the most popular member of the Bush administration and a potential candidate to succeed her boss in the White House, even as Americans lose confidence in the president she serves and patience with the Iraq war she helped launch.

Powell Backs Eavesdropping to Stop Terror

powell does not understand that something will always occupy the news cycle as scandal

there is no controversy

there is news cycle

WASHINGTON -- Former Secretary of State Colin Powell on Sunday supported government eavesdropping to prevent terrorism but said a major controversy over presidential powers could have been avoided by obtaining court warrants.

Floyd Victims Relate to Katrina Evacuees

news from women's minds

PRINCEVILLE, N.C. -- Jessie Murphy rebuilt her wrecked home after Hurricane Floyd dumped rain that overran levees and inundated her historic hometown. Today she wonders if she should have bothered _ and she worries that the victims of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans will someday feel the same way.

Big Easy Residents Worry About Reputation

who goosed the soprano?

no, sorry.

it's from the AP ``women's news''

women care about steaming piles of emotions

all women all the time

NEW ORLEANS -- Karen Conway looks up from the muscular cup of coffee she is nursing at the French Quarter landmark Cafe du Monde and raises both eyebrows, her green eyes going wide.

Ney Says He's Confident He'll Be Cleared

i have no idea what this is about but he's certainly guilty

WASHINGTON -- Rep. Bob Ney of Ohio, a focus of the criminal investigation into Jack Abramoff's lobbying, says he's had no conversations with the Justice Department and believes its probe will clear him of any wrongdoing.

Shark Bites Surfer Off Oregon Coast

it's the first because it happens at a news-cycle hysteria background rate

too rare to worry about but fast enough to produce an occasional hysteria-fanning story over the entire country, from somewhere

like vicious dog deaths, at twelve a year.

you hear about each one.

the actual personal risk is in hit-by-asteroid territory.

Dotson said it was the first shark attack off Seaside in his 26 years with the department.

Scientists Target Tree-Killing Beetle

scientists target violence-reducing beetle

Ash trees are also valued for wildlife food and their strong wood used for furniture and baseball bats.

California City Swaps Gifts for Guns

sheriff saw it on TV

tv is the source of most persistent but bad ideas

a really bad idea takes help from tv

"The only reason you'd have these guns is to shoot at people," said sheriff's Deputy A.J. Rotella, who came up with the Gifts for Guns concept.

if a burgler breaks in, throw a gift at him and wait for the sheriff

Pa. Community Celebrates Festivus

birth of TV celebrated

ERIE, Pa. -- The celebration of Festivus is alive and well in northwestern Pennsylvania, nearly a decade after the bizarre "holiday" garnered pop culture notoriety on "Seinfeld."

Twentysomethings Seeking Eternal Youth

not enough of them reading newspapers

try a new approach

next week, stupid pills so you can be more like teens

CHICAGO -- Forget "40 is the new 30." Now even twentysomethings are joining the quest for eternal youth by using anti-aging products and wrinkle treatments.

NORAD Marks 50th Year of Tracking Santa

infantilizing the public for 50 years

a tradition continued by the mainstream media in every news story

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. -- For half a century, the military agency dedicated to detecting threats against the United States and Canada has reported Santa's sleigh ride to curious youngsters around the world.

Boys Choir of Harlem Faces Eviction by NYC

will join national basketball association

NEW YORK -- The world-renown Boys Choir of Harlem, struggling under millions of dollars of debts and allegations that its founder ignored reports of sexual abuse, is being evicted by the city.

Hundreds Hear 'Illicit' Mass in St. Louis

nobody listens to archbishops after they're no longer allowed to kill people

ST. LOUIS -- At least 1,500 people attended Christmas Eve Mass presided by an excommunicated Roman Catholic priest, despite warnings from the archbishop that participating would be a mortal sin.

New Year's Day 2006: delayed by a second

reporter believes it's the waves breaking

actually it's running the moon further out in orbit

angular momentum conservation is not suitable for women's ears, even if it's simple

a lot simpler than a mysterious mechanism from waves breaking to earth rotation

maybe it's like your period, you feel sluggish

Although it is possible to have a negative leap second -- that is, a second deducted from Coordinated Universal Time -- so far all have been add-ons, reflecting the Earth's general slowing trend due to tidal breaking.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Mormons Honor Church Founder's Birthday

wrapped in long underwear

SHARON, Vt. -- Faithful Mormons on Friday celebrated the bicentennial anniversary of the birth of Joseph Smith, the founder of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, one of the fastest-growing religions in the world.

Christmas Just Another Day for Inmate Moms

sad story settled on

where to go, where to go...

aha, a women's prison

women love it

HAWKINSVILLE, Ga. -- For inmate Chartisia Jackson, Christmas came early and lasted only a few hours. It was when her two young sons, 8-year-old Darion and 7-year-old Jeremy, came to visit.

Artifacts From Memphis Bordellos Found

the bordello tribe

MEMPHIS, Tenn. -- Near the blues clubs in the city's famed tourist district, archaeologists have turned up remains of bordellos that once dotted Beale Street.

Woman Swallows Cell Phone After Argument

unreasonable woman news

BLUE SPRINGS, Mo. -- A lovers' dispute over a cell phone ended suddenly when the woman swallowed the phone whole, police said.

Unvaccinated Rabies Survivor Thrives

to-bite list made

The teenager, who is the world's only known unvaccinated human rabies survivor, is regaining her ability to walk and talk. She has returned to school, and has plans to return to the volleyball team next year and eventually, attend college.

NYT: NSA Spying Broader Than Bush Admitted

teapot rattled again by NYT

NEW YORK -- The National Security Agency has conducted much broader surveillance of e-mails and phone calls _ without court orders _ than the Bush administration has acknowledged, The New York Times reported on its Web site.

Alito Defended Ordering Domestic Wiretaps

Reagan derangement syndrome echo

WASHINGTON -- Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito defended the right of government officials to order domestic wiretaps for national security when he worked at the Reagan Justice Department, an echo of President Bush's rationale for spying on U.S. residents in the war on terror

Military School Sexual Harassment Persists

men revealed to be pigs

Up to 6 percent of the women at the Army, Navy and Air Force academies said they experienced sexual assault during the 2004-2005 school year, and about half or more said they were sexually harassed, according to a survey released Friday by the Pentagon.

White House Issues Tsunami Alert Plan

common sense deprecated

"If it's voluntary, five years from now it's gone. There's no pressure. You have to have a string attached," he said. 'We really need to think about what we can do to maintain tsunami readiness at the local level, because a tsunami is not going to happen so often."

Alito Examined Rehnquist Ethics Questions

smoking gun update

WASHINGTON -- Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito was called on 20 years ago to address possible ethics concerns over then-Justice William H. Rehnquist's book deal.

NIH Medical Safety Officer Reinstated

scientific misconduct misinterpreted as sexual harassment

The National Institutes of Health's reinstatement of Dr. Jonathan Fishbein settles a two-year battle that prompted investigations into allegations of scientific misconduct and sexual harassment in federal AIDS research.

Man Jailed for Over a Year Saw No Lawyer

an ideal prisoner

"I said, 'Man, why don't you call your people?' He said, 'Nah, I don't want to bother them with anything,'" Brooks said.

Holiday Travelers to Face Crowded Roads

the roust takes on manic tones.

on the other hand it's good employment for the mentally ill, especially in management.

"Doing this is a way of adding unpredictability to the screening process in order to deter terrorist attacks," Transportation Security Administration spokeswoman Jennifer Peppin said Wednesday in a cell-phone interview from Seattle-Tacoma International Airport.

4 Men Arrested in Stolen Explosives Case

enough for a year of bass fishing

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- Authorities arrested four men and were searching for one more person in connection with the theft of 400 pounds of explosives _ enough to flatten a large building _ from a storage depot.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Kerry Calls Bush Spying Defense 'Lame'

differently-abled, he means

BOSTON -- Domestic spying authorized by the White House "doesn't uphold our Constitution" and President Bush's defense of the practice is "lame," Sen. John Kerry said Tuesday.

Study Documents Menopause in Gorillas

ex-boyfriends blamed

CHICAGO -- Jenny, Shamba, Timbo, Beta and Elaine are zoo gorillas, but they have something in common with millions of women: They have undergone menopause.

Many Teens Would Flunk Treadmill Tests

it's like comfort in car ads.

fitness exists and is whatever it is the test says it is.

as you can see, we are measuring it.

we do the measuring activities.

we have meters.

fitness is to good health as phlogison is to fire, namely whatever it is that causes it.

it's called reification.

scientists do it all the time.

About 14 percent of the adults showed a poor level of fitness,

Moose Captured After Son Plays Saxophone

saxophoneists are people too

Veterinarian Dayton Williams of Sioux Falls brought down the animal with a tranquilizer gun around 1:30 p.m. Tuesday as it moved through snow-covered corn stubble near Interstate 29, south of Sioux Falls.

Judge Strikes Down Cigarette Fee in Minn.

tax doctor's visits

Lawmakers had been counting on more than $400 million over two years from the "health impact fee."

Cheney Says President Has Spying Authority

spying is relegated to the states

"I think the vice president ought to reread the Constitution," said Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass.

Okla. Woman Has 14-Pound, 3-Ounce Baby

i'd look at how the baby got in there

McALESTER, Okla. -- Hospital officials at McAlester Regional Health Center say a 14-pound, 3-ounce baby delivered there is the largest ever born at the hospital.

Crowd Gathers in L.A. for Williams Funeral

deaf gang members

Under heavy police presence, mourners including gang members flashing hand signs waited in line to enter the 1,500-seat Bethel AME Church for a ceremony that stretched more than four hours.

Wife of Joel Osteen Asked to Leave Plane

stewardess catfight!

an eastern stewardess got in trouble for calling CAB commissioner a bitch. she claimed in her defense that she had said ``witch.''

that was about the no-smoking area

HOUSTON -- The wife of the pastor of the nation's largest church was asked to leave a plane after she failed to comply with a flight attendant's instructions, the FBI said Tuesday.

Donors Underwrite DeLay's Deluxe Lifestyle

makes more than reporters

WASHINGTON -- As Tom DeLay became a king of campaign fundraising, he lived like one too. He visited cliff-top Caribbean resorts, golf courses designed by PGA champions and four-star restaurants _ all courtesy of donors who bankrolled his political money empire.

NTSB: Plane Crashed After Wing Fell Off

the wing doesn't fall off.

the rest of the airplane falls off.

these stupid reporters think like women.

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. -- The deadly crash of a seaplane shortly after takeoff was apparently caused by the right wing breaking off during flight, investigators said Tuesday.

Judge Rules Against Pa. Biology Curriculum

church of england not heard from

HARRISBURG, Pa. -- In one of the biggest courtroom clashes between faith and evolution since the 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial, a federal judge barred a Pennsylvania public school district Tuesday from teaching "intelligent design" in biology class, saying the concept is creationism in disguise.

Jet With Problem Lands Safely in Boston

another disappointment

Sparks could be seen coming from an area near the right landing gear as the aircraft landed just before 10 p.m., but the plane rolled to a stop without incident.

Boston Herald Appeals $2.1M Libel Decision

might have been a joke about hysteria

comes from Gk hysteron, uterus

A jury in February found that the newspaper libeled Superior Court Judge Ernest B. Murphy in articles that portrayed him as lenient toward defendants and quoted him making insensitive comments about a 14-year-old rape victim.

Doctor Charged for Giving Weed Killer

the ``caught a bug'' cliche

``eradicating cancer'' is about roots

doctors are no smarter than anybody else

ATLANTA -- Federal prosecutors say a doctor treated patients with cancer and other life-threatening diseases with weed killer and insecticide.

Hurricane Katrina Hit As Category 3, Not 4

the cheapest fix is use some other classification system

Taylor said the levees that protect New Orleans was built before the creation of the Saffir-Simpson scale of classifying hurricanes, so different parts of the system protect against varying levels of wind speed, storm surge and barometric pressure

Ex-Boyfriend Is Suspect in Dancer's Slaying

the story-of-the-day strike tie-in

NEW YORK -- A former boyfriend of a slain topless dancer was declared the prime suspect in the case, his arrest delayed only because the transit strike Tuesday prevented a grand jury from being seated.

Rock Slide Destroys Bank in Pelham, N.Y.

some societies use rocks as currency

PELHAM, N.Y. -- A rock slide into the back of a building Tuesday demolished at least three businesses, including a bank branch that had opened the day before.

Jeb Bush Signs Bill Banning Lobbyist Gifts

integrity does without signals except in politics

Bush said the new law moves Florida from the middle nationally to "the front of the pack in terms of sending a signal on integrity."

Court Fines NYC Transit Union $1M a Day

grinding to a halt is what transportation systems do

no reporter can resist it

The nation's biggest mass-transit system ground to a halt after 3 a.m., when the union called the strike after a late round of negotiations with the Metropolitan Transportation Authority broke down.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Ga. Woman Says Teen Groom Wooed Her

teen groom woo moot

The boy, who had been on probation on an unrelated burglary charge, was ordered Monday to return to juvenile detention after relatives he was living with said they could not handle him.

Two Dead in Chicago Construction Accident

non-union workers

CHICAGO -- A concrete slab crashed through the roof Monday of a building under construction on the city's South Side, crushing two workers to death, authorities said.

College Class President Charged in Robbery

reframe as social disaster to hook women, our readers

BETHLEHEM, Pa. -- As Lehigh University students prepared for final exams this week, they found themselves grappling with the news that the sophomore class president had been arrested for allegedly robbing a bank.

Legislation for Black Belt Agency on Hold

asian communities, you'd think

WASHINGTON -- An effort to create an agency to boost poor, predominantly black counties in the South is stuck in legislative limbo partly because of Hurricane Katrina, which further devastated many of the areas the agency would help.

Crips Gang Co-Founder Executed in Calif.

a short soap episode is given its meaning

but eternal frustration is the heart of soap

SAN QUENTIN, Calif. -- Convicted killer Stanley Tookie Williams, the Crips gang co-founder whose case stirred a national debate about capital punishment and the possibility of redemption, was executed Tuesday morning.

$1 Billion Windfall Key in Transit Talks

nothing some broken kneecaps can't fix

The union is demanding 8 percent raises, saying the 3 percent is a starting point. President Roger Toussaint said the other aspects of the MTA's offer "insult" the workers who run the city's subways and buses.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

NYC Transit Union Authorizes Subway Strike

everybody roots for crippling strikes

best of all is when the outfit struck goes bankrupt and throws all the workers out

let them starve

a satisfying outcome seldom attained in transit strikes however

politicians are even dumber than unions

reagan managed it with the air traffic controllers, but that's about the last case

NEW YORK -- New York City transit workers voted Saturday to authorize a strike that could shut down bus and subway service at the height of the holiday shopping season.

Government Tests Readiness for Pandemic

keeps the elephants away

WASHINGTON -- After role-playing an outbreak of pandemic flu, federal officials said Saturday that saving lives and containing the economic damage will require more planning in local communities and increased production of vaccines and medications.

Gradeschoolers Learning on Handhelds

boys meanwhile were visiting porn sites and passing notes

boys do not stay inside the press release

OLATHE, Kan. -- Aesop's fables came beaming across the classroom and landed in Eva Hernandez's Palm handheld. On the bottom floor of Ridgeview Elementary School, she sat scrolling, using her stylus to navigate through through "The Flies and the Honeypot."

Ky. Police Stop Van, Find Boy at the Wheel

turkey not carved at the joints

The children were taken by social services. Waters, meanwhile, faces several charges, including resisting arrest, carrying a concealed deadly weapon, leaving the scene of an accident and driving under the influence.

'Integrity' Tops Web Dictionary's Lookups

press release from web site printed in return for story material

But topping the list is a word that some say gives insight into the country's collective concern about its values: Integrity.

Fewer Breast Cancer Patients to Get Chemo

tide brings press release

reporter gets out thesaurus

``how can we fix this thing''

SAN ANTONIO -- For years, doctors have known exactly what to do with breast cancer patients like Eva Ossorio: Poison them. Blasting women with toxic chemicals was considered the best way to save their lives. The bigger the cancer or the more it had spread, the more vile liquid doctors pumped into their veins to try to kill it. But there's been a sea change in the last year.

Jeep Overturns, Killing Three Miss. Teens

teens are dangerously top-heavy

JACKSON, Miss. -- A Jeep carrying four teenagers leaving a high school football game overturned early Saturday, killing three young women in the car.

Long-Lost Time Capsule Found in Hawaii

long-lost in what sense is itself lost

nobody was missing it

you can see why

HONOLULU -- Using radar equipment along a wall of a landmark Hawaiian building, military specialists Saturday quickly located a time capsule buried more than a century ago by King Kamehameha V.

Historians knew the capsule contained priceless pieces of the islands' history, including photos of royal families dating back to Kamehameha the Great and a constitution of the Hawaiian Kingdom. But until now the capsule's exact location was unknown.

"We found it within the first 10 minutes we were here," said Larry Conyers, a University of Denver professor who used ground penetrating radar to find the hollow spot in the northeast corner of the Aliiolani Hale building.

"It never happens like this," he said.

The capsule was left undisturbed. Digging it up would destroy the building above, which is also a historic treasure, experts said.

As Boomers Age, Legacy Doubts Surface

story desperation displayed

NEW YORK -- They partied and protested, then grew up to dominate America with their chutzpah and sheer numbers. Yet now, as the oldest of the baby boomers prepare to turn 60, there are glimmers of doubt within this "have it all" generation about how they will be judged by those who come next.

Katrina Deaths Lead to Real-Life 'CSI'

reporter enamored of tv just like the readers

it must be tv

NEW ORLEANS -- While hundreds drowned in Hurricane Katrina's filthy floodwaters, at least 21 people died more mysteriously. From unexplained gunshot wounds to stabbings and fatal blows to the head, these unidentified victims are now the main characters in a real-life version of "CSI."

New Jersey Bear Hunt Ends With 280 Kills

threatening the homeless

Black bears, once near extinction in the state, are now a common sight, menacing people, scampering through yards and rummaging in trash.

1968 Presidential Upstart McCarthy Dies

warehoused obit of a warehoused mccarthy.

McCarthy died in his sleep at assisted living home in the Georgetown neighborhood where he had lived for the past few years, said his son, Michael.

Reverse Thrusters Eyed in Midway Accident

hard to translate back from mandatory newspaper -gibberish. (you don't want to offend women readers with correct detail.)

probably the thrust reversers were armed to go off automatically on touchdown, and did not do so (or they were not in fact armed), and the pilots deployed them manually after a fatal confusion-delay.

you can't tell if the ``brakes'' were the wheel brakes or wheel brakes plus thrust reversers.

CHICAGO -- The reverse thrusters that should have slowed a Southwest Airlines jetliner before it slid off a runway and into a busy street didn't immediately kick in when the pilots tried to deploy them, federal investigators said Saturday after interviewing the crew.

The flight attendants said they could tell the Boeing 737 wasn't slowing after it touched down in the snow Thursday evening, and the pilots said they applied the brakes manually as soon as they realized something was wrong, said Robert Benzon, National Transportation Safety Board investigator in charge.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Alarm over a Dramatic Weakening of the Gulf Stream

all bases covered

The powerful ocean current that bathes Britain and northern Europe in warm waters from the tropics has weakened dramatically in recent years, a consequence of global warming that could trigger more severe winters and cooler summers across the region, scientists warn today.


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